Episode 112 - Listen To This If You Need to Recover Your Confidence After Giving a Bad Talk

Transcript

Jen (00:00:11)

Hello everybody. And welcome to another episode of Listen to This If, which goes along with our longer episodes, Let's Talk SciComm.

But here, Michael and I just try and pick one thing that you might be working on at the moment that might be challenging you in the world of science and science communication. And we try and each give you one top tip for managing that situation.

So as ever, I'm joined by the wonderful Michael. And Michael, today, the topic that was suggested to us by a listener was what do you do if you need to recover confidence after giving a bad talk?

Michael (00:00:48)

Hmm, yeah. And I mean, it happens, right? It's just a part of working in science, working in academia. You give talks all the time. You're going to feel good about lots of them. And maybe there's some in there that you don't feel good about.

My advice is be kind to yourself. You really have to be kind to yourself, you know. It's not as bad as you think it is. I often think that we're our own harshest critics. And we will be, you know, nitpicking aspects of the talk that perhaps, you know, other people didn't notice.

I mean, one great example is right, if you forget to say something, it's probably only one person that knows that you've forgotten to say that thing. And that's you. The audience doesn't know what you had planned to say.

But I just think you have to be kind to yourself, you know. I'm a really strong believer in this idea that the work that you do doesn't define who you are as a person. It's really just, you know, external to who you are.

So you're giving a talk, you know. If it's... if you don't feel good about it afterwards, you know, it doesn't reflect badly on you as a person. It's really just because, you know, there [are] perhaps other circumstances, like maybe you didn't have enough time to practice.

And everyone has been in that situation. I think you just have to be kind to yourself, forgive yourself. You know, don't be too harsh on yourself. And it's often the greatest pain, you know, will come from your own thoughts about that talk, punishing yourself. Just be kind to yourself. Move on. It happens. People understand, and it probably wasn't as bad as you think it was.

Jen (00:02:26)

Yeah. Yeah, you and I are very aligned on this one, Michael. I think what you've said is all absolute gold.

And to feel that stress or that upset or you know, feeling unsettled, ruminating on what you wish you'd done differently. Like all of that is normal. And it's a sign that you care about this talk.

So it's actually good if you, you know, if you don't think it went as well as you hoped it did. If you then have this response, it's a good sign. It means that you're really invested and you really care.

My version of saying be kind to yourself is treat it with curiosity rather than judgment. So rather than being really critical of yourself and down on yourself and having this really nasty conversation going on in your head or monologue in your head, be the scientist who actually approaches it with some curiosity.

So the first thing I would say is look for some evidence that it was actually as bad as you're telling yourself it was because chances are that evidence doesn't exist.

So be brave, ask for feedback. If there was a recording, watch the recording, really seek some evidence-based information about it. And you're almost certainly going to find out it wasn't as bad as you thought.

But I think, you know, once you do that, you can kind of then, you know, approach it with some rigour. So reflect on what you did well, celebrate the fact that there were probably some things you did really well, to build yourself up a little bit again and realise that it's not all terrible. I'm sure there was something [that went] really well.

And then I think you can try and identify what it was that you perceive you did really badly. Was it that you said "um" too many times? Was it that you were too reliant on notes? Was it that you got lost? Was it that you hadn't had enough time to work out who the audience was and you pitched it badly? Was it that you were just so nervous that you couldn't get any words out?

You know, what was it that you thought was so bad? Because once you've identified those things, then you can come up with a really concrete plan on how to improve them for next time and how to develop those skills.

And Michael, you and I always say that motivation follows action. And I think once you have a concrete plan on how to not let it happen again in the same way. You'll feel, you know, you'll feel much better.

And then it's a matter of just really being brave and getting back on that horse or that bicycle when you feel like you've fallen off and challenging yourself to give another talk when you can, recognising that that's goning to be really stressful.

And no one expects you to be perfect at this. There's no such thing as a perfect talk. It's a learning process.

Michael (00:04:57)

Yeah, 100%. You know, great advice.

And there's always one thing that you did really really well, which is fair play to you for standing up and giving that talk in the first place, putting yourself outside your comfort zone.

Jen (00:05:07)

Yeah, exactly.

Michael (00:05:09)

And, you know, people respect that.

Just being aware of that I think is a positive.

Jen (00:05:15)

Yeah, exactly. So good on you for giving the talk in the first place.

And it's a long-term thing, becoming a competent and confident public speaker. It does not happen overnight. But every time you take a step towards being more comfortable up there in front of people, it's just going to keep getting better and better.

Michael (00:05:32)

Hear, hear.

Jen (00:05:34)

Good luck.

Michael (00:05:41)

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