Episode 132 - Listen To This If… Networking feels scary (or just a bit icky)
Everyone tells you networking is essential for your career. But what if the idea of walking into a room full of strangers and “working the room” makes you want to hide?
In this short episode, Jen and Michael unpack why networking can feel uncomfortable and how reframing what networking actually is can make it much easier.
Our key message: networking isn’t about collecting contacts or performing in crowded rooms. It’s about building genuine relationships over time.
In this episode, we explore:
- Why it helps to rethink what “networking” really means
- A simple approach to conversations at conferences and events
- Why a short, practiced response to “What do you do?” can make things easier
- How to spot others in the room who might feel just as overwhelmed
- Why humour and honesty can break the ice (“Networking is a bit awkward, isn’t it?”)
- The often-overlooked importance of networking with your own colleagues
Networking doesn’t have to mean working every corner of the room. Sometimes it’s as simple as introducing yourself, asking a thoughtful question, and following up later for a coffee or a conversation.
And remember: most people in the room are probably feeling just as awkward as you are.
You can find more great advice here:
Transcript
Jen (00:00:10)
A very very warm welcome to another episode of Listen to This If. These are episodes in which Michael and I... I'm Jen, hello. The team from Let's Talk SciComm, we tackle just one question or one problem or one thing that you might be grappling with at the moment.
And Michael, today we've decided to talk about what do you do if networking, which we're all told all the time we need to do, it's so important, what do you do if that actually feels quite scary or just difficult or just something you really don't want to do? You know you should, but you don't want to. What's your advice, Michael?
Michael (00:00:46)
Yeah, look, I think a lot of people find it a bit of an icky process or it can be an icky idea. I really think, you know, that idea... Like we just have to rethink what is networking, you know. Whatever your concept of networking is, whatever you think it is, you know, scrunch that up and just throw it out and just think of it in a different way. It's not about working the room per se. It's really about fostering, you know, it's really about finding and building genuine long-term relationships with other people.
And sure, you know, that you know, networking can occur in lots of different situations and I think the icky situation is you know, when you're at a networking event or a conference and it's that idea of you know, going up and speaking to someone. But it's so much more than that. And you know, if you find that process icky just... you don't have to spend too long doing that.
I think it's really just enough to quickly introduce yourself, maybe ask a question, say something about why you're interested in their work. And then you can ask them, "Can we connect on LinkedIn?" And maybe then from there, you can kind of just have, build a normal kind of relationship. Maybe meet them for a coffee, take it away from that awkward situation of being at a conference or a networking event.
So yeah, I would say networking is so much more than that idea of being at a conference and working the room. And it's more about kind of quality over quantity. And it's about building long-term genuine relationships with people.
Jen (00:02:34)
Well said, Michael. I think we all have this perception of networking being walking into a very big, scary room full of people we don't know and feeling very small and worried and like, everyone's looking at us. But you're right, networking, it can be done in lots of different ways. It can be online. It can be in person. It can be on the phone. It can be on Teams or on Zoom. You know, there's lots of different ways to actually make connections with people.
And as you said, the idea behind networking is actually creating connections, connections with people who you want to work with, contribute something to, learn from, all of that stuff. But maybe because you haven't gone there I will go with this situation where you are in a room that feels a bit overwhelming and what do you do? Because I think that is still, you know, that still happens for lots of us. We do go to in-person networking events and conferences and things.
And I think I've got a couple of tips. One would be practice how you're going to respond to the question, "What do you do?" or "Tell me about yourself" because of course everyone's going to ask you that. And so just having a really short little self-introduction that you've practiced and that feels comfortable to you. Doesn't mean you have to have a rote learned script or cue cards or anything. But just having an idea of if I get to say two sentences about myself, what would they be? I think that can be really helpful.
And then I would say if you are someone who struggles in those situations, then kind of just look around the edges of the room because often there are people who are feeling similarly overwhelmed or just struggling to know how to manage this situation. Who yeah, might be standing quietly on their own or somewhere, trying to look invisible but actually really wanting to be there. I think those are really good people to start a conversation with because they're probably feeling similar to the way you feel.
And lastly, I just say remember, probably everyone is feeling just as awkward as you are. And so, maybe you can make a joke about that and connect with somebody that way. "Hey, this is weird, this is awkward and a bit icky, isn't it? How are you going?" And the worst that will happen is someone will say, "No, I love being here. This is my favourite place." And you can laugh as they walk off. But most people are going to say, "Yeah, gee, networking can be tricky". And then you've already got a shared topic of conversation.
Michael (00:04:55)
Yeah, yeah. I think that's really good advice. Yeah, I mean, everyone's in networking mode at those events. They're expecting you to come up and talk to them as well, so...
Jen (00:05:04)
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And if you do kind of have a response prepared so that when someone says, "What do you do?" And you're kind of, you know, suddenly lost for words, it can be really handy to have that little spiel ready to go I think.
So yeah, happy...
Michael (00:05:18)
Yeah. And then practice, just do like, do lots of it, do lots of talking to other people.
But yeah, I mean... And also, you know, don't forget that the most important networking that you'd probably do is with the people that you spend most time with. You know, your colleagues. You probably don't, people probably don't often think about that as networking, but it is. You know, people move around and you know, those connections last. You know, can last with you across your career.
Jen (00:05:48)
That's why I like hanging out in podcast land with you, Michael. This is our way of networking, isn't it?
Michael (00:05:53)
We're networking right now, yeah.
Jen (00:05:56)
Happy networking, everybody.
Michael (00:05:58)
See how easy it is.
Michael (00:06:10)
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, we'd love you to tell a friend about the podcast or leave us a review. And you can reach out to us on social media.
And we're very excited to announce that we're launching a new newsletter called the ChitChat. Check out the link in the show notes or our posts on Instagram.
And also a big thank you to our production team, Steven Tang and Madeleine Kelly.